That’s All I Have to Say About That….
November 29, 2007
I’m not going to say anything about this post. I’m just posting it. That is all….
How We Met:
We were introduced through my old roommate, [name omitted for security purposes], at that time she was my manager at Victoria Secret. Her and [name omitted for security purposes] had been friends for sometime and one night after work I went with her to meet him out for a few drinks. We would hang out with [name omitted for security purposes] and his roommates once in a while and go out dancing. About a year after we first met me, [name omitted for security purposes], [name omitted for security purposes] and his roommates all went to the beach for a weekend. [name omitted for security purposes] and I had a chance to spend some time together that weekend and we obviously felt a connection because when we returned home we started hanging out a lot more. We have spent pretty much every day together since then.
How We Got Engaged:
[name omitted for security purposes] said that he wanted to take me out to dinner to celebrate his first paycheck at his new job, I didn’t think to much of it and said okay. We were in the middle of Phase 1 of the South Beach diet so our restaurant options were pretty much limited to seafood so [name omitted for security purposes] had me choose between 2 very nice places in Geargetown. I told him that we did not need to go to such an expensive place, he said to just pick one, so I picked Tommy & Joes on the waterfront. Now that I look back on that day I can pick out so many different things that should have given away the fact that he was planning to do something special that night. We got to the restuarant and were seated, we ordered or food and some wine. While we were eating we somehow got into a discussion about marriage. Of course that was my opening to make a comment about us not being engaged. He told me that guys don’t think about that stuff all of the time. I said that that is exactly why I have to make my comments, this way it stays fresh in his mind 
I told him that the least he could do is tell me that he loves me very much and that he does want to spend the rest of his life with. At that time he said, “Well, I do love you and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, so WILL YOU MARRY ME?” This whole time I had my head down playing with my food on my plate, once he said that last par I looked up and went straight into shock. I always thought I would cry my eyes out when he did this but all I could do was say “Nuh uh! Are you serious?” I then paused for about 30 seconds not saying anything, then he was like “sooooo?” At that point I of course said “YES!” I stayed in shock for a few days after that
I’m Out to Los Cabos Mexico for FREE
November 29, 2007
wont be on as much this weekend as of friday untill Monday night when i get back!…i will have my laptop so dont think i’ve forgotten you guys.
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What Men Really Want For X-Mas
November 28, 2007
I was thinking about what i As a Fellow Male would want Santa to bring me for X-mas…Since the Fat Bastard never brings me good Sh*t Despite I leave Oreos..Out…Ok..I got them at Big Lots and their actually fake Oreos but like he knows…anyway…here is My Wish List
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2 girls 1 cup
November 28, 2007
I’ve seen plenty of nasty/funny/shocking stuff on the internet, but this tops ‘em ALL. There are even a bunch of funny reactions to the video on youtube. You’ve been warned…freakin’ GROSS!!!
The video:
http://www.flurl.com/item/2girls1cup_Official_Video_u_279710
Hilarious reactions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7aABa0N0Qc
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Fergie Sex Tape Found!
November 28, 2007
So where is this Fergie tape? Has anyone seen it? Is it really her? I want to see Proof damn it!
We are all Thinking is a steamy 60 mins tape of fergie the singer and watch it end up being the 66 year old shagging some young buck…ewwww….maybe that’s why the tape is yet to be found..DAMN IT… YOUTUBE where are you when we need you! 
Maybe its just a ploy to release another album or to get the some attention to the English fergies Sarah the Duchess or York…hmmm id WATCH THAT TAPE TOO.
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Mother In-Law FREE For Good Home
November 28, 2007
I see dogs being given away all the time, CL even has a section for causal sex with all kinds of “genersou offers accepted” But I place an ad to give away my Mother in-law and I get Blacklisted Come on…She is a nice lady, sure I’d would have rather put her to sleep but will not one take the old lady?
Babat’s Jimmy Buffet Experience
November 27, 2007
So I attended my second Jimmy Buffett concert last week. You gotta do it right; I took off work the day of the concert and also the day after. Wow, I must be a big Buffett fan, huh? Negative. A few friends are huge fans and initially had to talk me into it, but now I can say that everyone has to go at least once.
It’s not the music- I only know about 3 songs. It’s the ridiculous tailgating. We got there at about 2pm (the concert started at 8…I think). Now, if you’ve never been to a Buffett concert, you don’t know how freaking serious these people take it. I’m talking tents with sand, blow up palm trees, “margaritaville” and “parrothead” drawn all over car windows, huge Winnebago’s with Buffett flags sticking out the windows, etc. One guy in our group had even rented a porta-potti for $100. The problem was the venue didn’t allow trailors, so he’d have to lay it down in the back of his truck. Yeah, right. It was a great idea, though. I haven’t been so disappointed since I found out that those hover boards in “Back to the Future 2″ weren’t actually coming to a Toys R Us near me. The lying bastards.
Has anyone ever heard of Cornhole? No, not that. Someone in the group from Ohio (I mention this because I presume where they were from had something to do with it) brings 8 bean bags and these 2 pieces of wood with a hole in each piece. The object of the game is for you and your teammate to shoot as many bean bags into the hole, about 25 feet away. I’ve never heard of this game before in my entire life. And what do I see when I look to the group of people tailgating next to us? They’re playing Cornhole too! More Cornhole! Everywhere I look, Cornhole! What the heck are the odds of that? It’s sweeping the nation, people. Cornhole. It must have something to do with Ohio…
Naturally, as the concert was about to start, my buddy Rick and I decided to “finish up” his homemade jungle juice. Bad idea. This was after numerous games of flip cup and jello shots. We take a ton of shots each, and then it starts raining…no, make that POURING. Next thing I know, one of the people in our group was too wasted to get in, and I offered to go find her. An hour and a half later, I realize I’ve been walking in the rain around the venue by myself. No problem, I’m making random friends in the crowd. But as the concert is nearing a close, I realize that I didn’t drive, no one is picking up their cell phone, and I have no idea where the hotel is (heck, I don’t even know the name of it). Somehow I end up finding someone from our group, and it turns out that practically all of us got split up. This is proven when, after we were back at the hotel for about an hour and a half, we get a call from one of the people in our group that was attending Buffet for the first time. Her and two others were still at the venue…they had apparently left their car keys in one of the cars we used to leave in. Heh, heh…oops. That’s called “yo’ fault”.
Anyway, next time Buffet comes around, go. But go with people that have gone before. And drink a lot of water.
Oh, and the girl that was too drunk to get into the concert? She roamed around the parking lot for 2 hours and never got in. Now there’s $60 well spent!
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You Know it Was a Good Night When…..
November 24, 2007
Regardless of gender, race, sexuality, ethnicity, or gender…wait, I already said that, we’ve all had those mornings when you wake up at the foot of your bed, covered only by the 2′ x 3′ Corona beach towel with the hot cartoon model that your girlfriend is embarrassed to see you bring to the beach every summer (that’s for another time), only to realize that you can’t remember one single thing from the previous night (thank St. Francis for the Guinness family!)….worse yet, some 200lbs. heffer with a half-eaten Double Whopper with Cheese resting between her chi-chis is asleep on your bed! Rather than doing the honorable thing and performing Seppuku and ending it all, just remember all the mornings when….
1. You wake up in the morning and have to pull two dozen long hairs off of your Johnson before you can pee….
- You wake up in the morning and you are wearing a pink thong that doesn’t belong to your ex-girlfriend…
- You wake up next to the toilet and find that Bed Bath and Beyond gift certificate behind the tank.
- You look in the toilet and find three condoms that weren’t used in a water balloon fight….
- You take your morning piss and your nozzle is on spray instead of stream…..
- You take your morning piss and your stream resembles the spreader gun in Contra….
- Your boss calls you in the morning to ask why you haven’t been at work for a week and a half…..
- You wake up next to a prostitute named Guadalupe and her screaming two year old, Fernando…..and you’re in Tijuana….
- Your coworker asks you if you are wearing the same shirt you were wearing yesterday….
- Your HR manager calls you into her office to discuss sexual harassment policy #XJ-39, and the list of approved Xerox machine usage.
- You remember her name…..or don’t, it really doesn’t matter.
- You wake up next to your best friend’s sister and not his mom for once….
- You wake up in an empty jail cell, instead of in a cell with a 379lb. Black man named Tiny draped around you……like last weekend.
- You wake up next to a girl that doesn’t look like Bea Arthur….
- You wake up next to Courtney Love’s less slutty half sister named Amanda….
- You wake up and find a tattoo on your penis and not Herve Villechaize from Fantasy Island….unlike that two week span in college when you thought you were gay.
- You wake up to find a stripper pole has been installed in your kid’s playroom….
- You wake up and find that Chief Runs Naked with Men has given you his daughter instead of his “pipe” to smoke….
- You lucked out because the fat chow hound that you went home with left early to catch the $1.99 Grand Slam at Denny’s….
- You wake up and find that you didn’t drunk text your ex-girlfriend to tell her that she is a cheating, hog smoking cunt….and that you still love her…..
- The 6’4” blonde that you woke up next to doesn’t have a penis….
- You didn’t wake up next to Tommy Lee….
- Your mom lets you sleep in….
- You wake up and “I’m an Ass Clown” isn’t written on your forehead in permanent marker…
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Ugliest man in the world
November 21, 2007
A wealthy lawyer says he must be the ugliest man in the world after having 5,000 marriage proposals turned down.
Croatian lawyer, Emil Kacic, who has logged all the failures in a little black book, said: “Money can’t buy you love, at least if you have a face like mine.”
After placing adverts in local papers stressing his wealth with words like “tender and rich lawyer looks for a pretty lady to marry” and then “disgustingly rich lawyer looks for a pretty lady to marry”, he was still unable to find a wife.
He said: “I’ve got to the point where I have even been asking women I am meeting in the streets to marry me, but they always say no.”
Kacic, from Zagreb, said he had now accepted that he must be the ugliest man in the world.
In an interview with daily newspaper, Vecernji List, dejected Kacic said: “I’ve tried placing all kinds of different ads, but not a single woman I’ve met through my adverts has accepted my offer. What else is there to believe, other than that I must be the ugliest man in the world.”
But disappointment has yet to defeat hope: “No success yet, but I will keep trying,” he resolved, adding: “I hope all the publicity over my failed search for love might bring me love at last.”
View His pic on Annanova
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The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
November 21, 2007
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. “Football.” b. “Golf.” c. “How fat you are.” d. “How I would spend the insurance money if you died.”
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”
Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: “Yes!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”
Inappropriate responses include: a. “Oh yeah, sh*tloads.” b. “Would it make you feel better if I said yes?” c. “That depends on what you mean by love.” d. “Does it matter?” e. “Who, me?”
Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”
Incorrect answers are: a. “Compared to what?” b. “I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.” c. “A little extra weight looks good on you.” d. “I’ve seen fatter.” e. “Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.”
Question #4: Do you think she’s prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!”
Incorrect responses include: a. “Yes, but you have a better personality.” b. “Not prettier, but definitely thinner.” c. “Not as pretty as you when you were her age.” d. “Define pretty.” e. “Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.”
Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Ferrari and a boat.”)
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines:
Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not — don’t you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
Man: Okay, I’d get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can’t use them — she’s left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.