So a few mornings ago I’m lazily micturating before leaving for work, and I happen to glance out my window. Expecting to see the usual bushes, neighbor’s house, and perhaps a tweeting bird, what do I see? A SIXTY FOOT OAK TREE LYING DOWN IN MY BACKYARD. Apparently, as there was a storm during the night, my neighbor’s gargantuan tree crashed through their fence, and now 98% of it is in my backyard.
Thinking that his insurance would cover it, I didn’t worry too much about it. Turns out, it’s a “natural occurrence”, and unless I can prove that it was diseased and he was negligent, his insurance won’t cover the cost to remove the tree. So then I call my own insurance, and they said since there wasn’t any damage to my house, they won’t cover anything, either.
So now I’ve got this huge tree, that isn’t even mine, just CHILLIN in my backyard. Considering how small my backyard is, it’s literally a miracle it didn’t hit our house or shed (or worse…my Ducati…that’s right, that’d be worse than my house ;)).
We go over to talk to the neighbor about it, as they hadn’t even had the courtesy to call us or come over to talk about it, and they basically said what the insurance companies said- it’s OUR problem, deal with it. I mean, hey, maybe they’d want to split the cost of the tree removal guy. Nope.
The moral of this story (other than let me know if you need firewood)? See below:
Even when you are having a really bad day,
someone will still screw you.
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Thought you guys might get a kick out of this letter that I sent to KFC parent company, Yum! Brands after I was tantalized by KFC’s new “Wrapstar” which is only available in the
UK. Apparently, I have nothing better to do then write letters to fast food companies—I’m still convinced that I was the reason Chipotle made it to Bmore—to beg them for food……anyway, enjoy.
************************************ Hello. My name is The Chef and I’m a publicist and loyal Yum! Brands consumer—Taco Bell & Long John Silvers. On a recent trip to
Europe I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw that KFC had a new item on the menu–The Wrapstar. I have been singing praises for Taco Bell’s “Crunch Wrap Supreme” since the first day that it hit the market and have converted hundreds of long-time Taco Bell detractors to once again, “run for the border” convincing them to “think outside of the bun.” Again, I’m in PR, so I understand the value of good word of mouth marketing, but I digress.
Unfortunately, during my time in the
U.K., I was never able to make it to KFC to try out the new Wrapstar, but promised myself that when I returned to the States, that the first thing that I would do is head to KFC to try one out. Now, I probably haven’t set foot in a KFC for at least 10 years–I’ve grown up on Popeye’s Chicken—but I figured, “hey, if this Wrapstar is even close to as good as the Crunch Wrap, well then I may have to make a switch.” And how could it not be good? I mean, two crispy chicken strips, pepper mayo, a slice of cheese, a tostada, mild salsa, lettuce, tomatoes and a star-shaped toasted tortilla? Sounds like heaven to me. You know what’s coming, right? So to my shock and astonishment upon my return to the states, the Wrapstar was nowhere to be found on the KFC menu! Had KFC and Yum! made a fatal error? Would I be forced to make another trip over the pond, just to get a glimpse of heaven? So I did a little research and found that the Wrapstar was a strictly
U.K. launch aimed at the young, busy adult who eats lunch on the go. I’m a young, busy adult who eats lunch either on the go or while stuck behind my desk—I’m sure I would enjoy a Wrapstar. Even the ads for the Wrapstar reflect this demographic as a young office worker who is suffering from a rough day is temporarily eased of his suffering by a Wrapstar. I’ve had days like this; I’d like my suffering to be eased as well!
As you can tell, the Wrapstar has made quite an impression on me, as it has been all I have been thinking about since my return from
Europe three weeks ago. I urge you, please, please, bring the Wrapstar to the
U.S. I will round up all of my Taco Bell converts and engage in Wrapstar launch parties all around the D.C. area. I’ll engage them all in a word of mouth marketing campaign to tout the deliciousness of the Wrapstar. I’ll even start a blog about the Wrapstar, targeted at the young adults to which this tortilla wrapped marvel has been designed for. I’ll do anything….just bring the Wrapstar to the States.
I thank you for your time and look forward to your response. Please don’t break this young, busy adult’s heart…. Regards, The Chef
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